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Friday, October 9, 2009

Man-Made Music, October Edition

Here's the next installment of Man-Made Music. This song was written a few years ago, but I re-recorded it recently. Please feel free to share any thoughts or questions! Lyrics are below. Happy listening!


It falls apart

and it would all go our way

if we'd have done that right, done that different,

but these are my old ways


Something's changed around here;

this old path to nowhere

cuts right down through here

splits us down through here


When the rain comes

It all goes right here

Don't wash on by

Won't you wash me?


It's dark out here, and they

say that hell is cold

well here's the hell in me

here's the hell that I control


So be ashamed of me afraid of me

oh never lose me

This path is broad my path is clear

it's full of lies but lies are marked and clear


When the rain comes

It all goes right here

Don't wash on by

Won't you wash me?


I say that I want peace,

and I hate like this

Please hate me, but don't hate me

because I just want peace


When the rain comes

It all goes right here

Don't wash on by

Won't you wash me?


8 comments:

grandma merrilee said...

i enjoyed your musical creation once again, joey. i am wondering what "rain" represents/symbolizes?

Joe Torgy said...

Hi, Mom. I'm glad you enjoyed my song. Rain here mostly just represents forgiveness.

grandma merrilee said...

that's what i guessed...maybe i am getting better at understanding your lyrics/poetry. "oh happy day, when Jesus washed my sins away" is more my style :-)!!

JDW Clifton said...

gorgeous

Pa Torg said...

I like this song.
"It falls ... " in the first line is a clever presage of the rain theme but with a different meaning in that line.
Here is how I perceived the progression of thoughts and images:
>There is some crisis that has changed awareness ("It all falls apart" ; "Something's changed")
>There is a path that splits ("old path .. cuts ... splits") seemingly like a path through a meadow
>Because a path (not a road) it seems to be a dirt path, and as such represents habituation over a long period; but also "splits" implies more emotion, that it has become painful and divisive now, too.
>The "cold ... dark ... hell" verse envisions the singer sitting in the cold dark rain on his own path, in his own hell.
>Hell because it is a bad place, but a cold, dark (i.e., hopeless) hell because he has created it for himself through his own repeated actions (and probably preconceptions, and thought patterns), and thus is helpless to escape.
>The singer is penitent now and desires his judge (presumably God or the listener) to be ashamed of him, but not to give up on him.
>The habituated path (which is what needs washing) is marked by (habitual) lies, but those are easy to see and identify, so they can actually help with the forgiveness process.
>The lyrics in the last bridge don't make sense to me together. I like the way peace sandwiches hate; and I like (and understand) the line "Please hate me, but don't hate me" (meaning, to me, something like: please hate this about me because that will give me validation in my repentance, and I hate this which has become so much myself that I can't see myself apart from it, but don't hate all of myself: the self that asks for forgiveness). But I'm not sure of the meaning of those four lines as a whole thought.

So the chorus, with my interpretation, is a desire for cleansing rain (forgiveness), but rain just runs into and down a dirt path ("all goes right here"), and maddeningly has the actual result of superficially cleansing, but in the end only deepening the rut ("don't wash on by"). So, I understand the plea: "Won't you wash me?" as a plea to wash out the path. So, the path is what needs to be cleansed; but the path is the problem: repentance follows the same lines as the sins.

Now, if that is the case, then it would make sense for there to be a final thought about the solution being for the rain to flood out the area so the path gets totally washed out, and the singer can start afresh. But, the fact that there isn't a verse like that makes me wonder if I've misinterpreted it all. For instance, it seems that there could also be a reading of the whole song as about a relationship, and "the path" marks a division between two people ("Marked by lies, but lies are clear") which makes sense of the use of the plural in the line: "splits us down through here". Then "oh never lose me" can also be a plea to the other person as much as the bringer of the rain.

So, which is it, Oh Author? :)

Musically, I think you make excellent use of the long pauses. The harmonies are carefully placed, and subtle which is pleasing and fits the song. The arpeggios are classic for a rain song (I like classic things) but are still always ... gorgeous; and the chorus is, even by itself, beautiful.

JeffSchipper said...

I agree with Pa Torg.

Joe Torgy said...

Jess -
Thanks for replying, oh reviewer! Your take is mostly right on, and I like that you like my first line :) I'm glad that the lyrics made you think of similar images to those that I was thinking of when I wrote it: standing in a meadow, beside an old, worn dirt path, rain pouring down the dirt path, dark and cold, etc. I was particularly imagining the saddle on Lantau and they way the paths turned to little rivers during and after typhoons. Also the path is my old habits, "my old ways" that have been worn into a path over time - like what I remember Thoreau writing about on human nature and his path to Walden pond. Also the hell is my own, as you say, and that's why it's in my - I've welcomed, over and over, the same things I would like to hate and would like others to hate. But precisely because it's habitual that is in a way a mean to forgiveness - it's easy to predict my actions. I'd like to think that would make it easier to help, but it still means I'm used to walking down the path, which also makes it more difficult to change.
What I had in mind with the song, however, is what you mentioned at the end as your alternate interpretation. I was thinking of a relationship, particularly mine with Kim. The meadow is our meadow, or at least I've welcomed her into mine, which is what has changed. This old meadow of mine is now inhabited by another, and my old path splits it (and us) right down by the middle.
What becomes strange, then, is my use of 'you' in the chorus. I'm not sure if it's overly confusing or ambiguous in a good way. I imagine myself standing near or on the path in the late evening after the rain has turned from a downpour to a drizzle, looking down at my feet and knowing that my wife stands beside me. I desire her forgiveness for this path I've created and want her to wash me with its water - the water of her forgiveness. But the water comes from somewhere else, of course, which I see as divine. Thus, the 'you' is meant to be plural - both my wife and God.
In this the metaphor becomes problematic, because, as you know, the questions is in the resolution. What do I want to occur? If I need to be bathed, isn't the path useful? If the whole meadow flooded, that would be nice for the flowers, but it would make it difficult to take a bath or be given a bath! :)
But at the same time I wonder if it works in the sense that having paths in my meadow is inevitable - I/we wouldn't really be living there if there weren't evidences of my/our habits and wanderings. The "deepening of the rut" as a result of the cleansing is, in a sense, inevitable. The rain will always flow down my paths, so to speak, and my paths will always be a reflection of my habits, shortcomings, misperceptions, sins. But it's this path - the path "that splits us down through here" that I hate the most.
That's what I am thinking in the last stanza. Everything I do is filled with hate and hypocrisy. All my paths are old habits - I'd like for there to be no paths, but I live there, after all. Thus all of my confessions are filled with hypocrisy. I say to my wife that I want peace - that I want to chose or forge another path, and then I go down this same path I despite. I lie. Then I ask her to not hate me (the self that asks for forgiveness, as you say), but my only rationale or reason that I can present to her for forgiving me is that I want peace - the very thing I had lied about. I was trying, perhaps unsuccessfully, to reflect the paradox inherent in the whole system here - that the very thing that splits us is the vehicle of forgiveness and cleansing. In the same way, which I'm trying to convey in the bridge, the trust I ask for is asked with the knowledge that it will likely be broken again. These are my 'old ways' after all.
Do you think the metaphor works in this way or does it break down in this way?

Joe Torgy said...

Also - anyone please feel free to respond or off your critique/thoughts!

And I apologize for many typos in my above response. I meant to say that the hell is in my own meadow (thus it's mine), and despite should be despise. :)